Girl Meets Building 7
by Cpl. Bull S. Kwikki
Summary: Disadvantaged Girl Maya has to go to a family night school event, but her parents are both losers. Totally lame! So to save face she makes up a cover story that they were killed in the 9/11 attacks when Building 7 collapsed. She tells this story to everyone even her most trusted best friend Riley. Will this "can't fail" plan… fail?
1. Character List

Characters:

Riley—Our plucky heroine, silly, earnest, studious, caring. She is one of those people who always looks for the best in the situation and in others and remains perpetually upbeat, since this is TV and not real life, she never gets stepped on, hurt, betrayed, let down, disappointed or killed outright.

Disadvantaged Girl Maya—Riley's best friend and rebellious sidekick, the alpha bitch of the show. Street smart, kind of tomboyish, and endlessly in "one of those moods" because she comes from a broken home. This is her "disadvantage" and everyone and everything reminds her so at every available opportunity. She tries to hide the fact that she is disadvantaged while simultaneously trying to take advantage of her disadvantage as well. Her parents are divorced and she frequently is attached at the hip to Riley.

Mr. Matthews—Riley's dad and both Riley and Maya's teacher. He is the honest, caring, extremely tolerant and fun kind of teacher that really doesn't exist in real life. Puts up with all of Riley's and Maya's in-class antics for some reason. Tries to teach in a creative manner, like Riley he believes people can't be bad and can only be good and yet again this never bites him in the ass as this is TV.

Farkle—Farkle is a friend of Riley and Maya, he is one of those people who is really smart yet totally socially inept and blisteringly eccentric. He flirts helplessly with girls who mock him. He is very studious, nerdy, and goofy. In terms of world events, he knows the score.

Note: Due to the adult language and situations present in this fan fiction, everyone will be a 16-year-old high schooler (except the adults obviously) instead of a middle schooler as they are on the show.


	2. Segment 1

Segment 1:

Disadvantaged Girl Maya, wearing a burnt church Burzum album cover shirt, hears of a family night event at her school. She sees posters for it around school and hears Riley, Farkle and various others excitedly talking of it, she gets a little depressed over this, remembering her loser family. When she goes to class, Mr. Matthews tries to get the class to discuss their feelings about the September 11th 2001 attacks which left over 3,000 people dead. However, the class is clueless; none of them know what 9/11 is because they're so out of touch with reality. The class begins to shout out random answers about who they think committed the attacks, including aliens, Russia, China, Dr. Evil from _Austin Powers_, and one student guesses that "Bush knocked down the towers." Maya says that her dad did 9/11. Mr. Matthews gives up, totally dismayed. Farkle does a science project proving that jetliner fuel can't melt steel, inspired; Mr. Matthews gives him an A for effort and originality.


	3. Segment 2

Segment 2:

Disadvantaged Girl Maya is determined to attend the family night event at the school as her best friend Riley is going, as well as all her classmates. Not to mention Mr. Matthews has offered extra credit for attendance. Maya thinks this will help her current "Zero/0/nada/Zilch" average in the class. However, she realizes she has a huge problem with her parents being losers and all. As she is walking along a hallway, depressed, she sees a 9/11 memorial poster on the wall. It features stick figures falling out of crudely drawn towers and Building 7 in the background with "don't forget Building 7 too" written on it. This causes her to have an epiphany. She'll just say her parents can't make the event because they died in 9/11 during the collapse of Building 7 (which people seem to have a hard time remembering) and she'll get into the event on sympathy. Plus since all her classmates are clueless as to what 9/11 is/was, they won't question her story. Happy-go-lucky Riley trots up to Maya and Maya confesses what really happened to her parents, crushed to death by concrete in the totally normal, uncontrolled collapse of Building 7 at the World Trade Center on 9/11. Riley offers her sympathy and a hug. A nearby student overhears the conversation and quickly spreads the story like the black plague.


	4. Segment 3

Segment 3:

At the school night event, Disadvantaged Girl Maya gets in unquestioned despite not being accompanied by any family member. At the start of the event, a moment of silence is held for the 9/11 attacks. Maya is at a moral crossroads as she witnesses her classmates having fun with their families, as she receives sympathy from others, including a tearful Riley, and when Mr. Matthews announces a father-daughter dance. Maya feels bad not for being left out, but because her parents are such duds. Luckily for her, some guys in their 20s and 40s have come in off the street upon seeing the sign outside the building announcing a school family night event. One of these older guys dances with Maya to the song, "Be My Baby" by the Ronettes. Maya smiles as she temporarily forgets her troubles.


	5. Segment 4 and Trivia

Segment 4:

After the "Be My Baby" dance ends, Mr. Matthews, seeing everyone have a good time, and thinking he needs to remind them of the tragedy that is life, unexpectedly asks Disadvantaged Girl Maya to say a few words about 9/11 and the value of family, since she lost hers so, so tragically. Maya is taken aback, her cover story was too good, even her teacher believed it and he sees her tomfoolery on a daily basis! Unflappable, Maya walks to the microphone, center stage, and begins to speak, not nervous at all. She puts on a sad voice and tells the audience some vague details about this and that. Unbeknownst to her, one of the older men who wandered in off the street is Ginzo Pisano (to be played by Artie Lange), a former New York City firefighter. When he hears Maya say she lost her parents in the collapse of Building 7, he obnoxiously calls her out from the audience, saying no one died in the collapse. Farkle corrects him by saying, "Uh, controlled collapse, sir." Mr. Matthews tries to calmly shut the man up, not even considering that Maya is lying. However, Maya, offended, begins arguing with old Ginzo. Suddenly from the back of the room comes a shout. It turns out to be none other than Maya's father who has also wandered in off the street upon seeing the sign outside and was also dancing with one of Maya's classmates. He angrily reminds Maya and everyone listening that he wasn't killed in the collapse of Building 7 and neither was Maya's mother. The father is wearing a cut off flannel shirt, has tattooed arms, facial piercings, dyed hair, etc. Caught in a lie, Maya hangs her head ashamedly. Riley storms the stage and demands the truth from her, she's so hurt because she didn't know people lied and always thought they told the truth. Maya, on-stage into the microphone, confesses to lying about her parents. When she says no one died in Building 7, all of her classmates gasp, as they did not know that and still know nothing of 9/11. When she admits that her parents aren't dead, just losers, her father protests, "No, we're not!" Then tries to get the "digits" from the girl he was dancing with, who says she does not own a phone yet and not allowed to date older men. Maya concludes her confessional speech by saying you should always be honest, even if your parents are really losers. "Tell that to the government!" Farkle grunts with his arms crossed across his chest. Mr. Matthews, Maya, and Riley share a group hug and the audience "awwwwws" as Maya's dad leaves with the girl he was dancing with earlier. As they continue to hug, someone takes a piece of the layer cake on the snack/drink table and it collapses in on itself at free fall speed, Farkle gasps deeply at the sudden epiphany he has. The audience goes to pieces over this one.

Trivia: References include _Girl Meets World_, 9/11 conspiracy theories, _Austin Powers_, _9/11: The New Pearl Harbor_, Phil Spector explaining Be My Baby, Burzum, Immortal Technique's song "Bin Laden," and an actual lesson a teacher of mine taught on 9/11.

-Some people from my middle school on 9/11 did think 9/11 was done by Russia or China

-On 9/11 I started writing a fan fiction where Russia does 9/11 and the US launches an immediate "Doolittle Raid" like response. The main character gets shot down and captured by Dr. Evil.

-Building 7 DID collapse at free fall speed


End file.
